Friday, April 30, 2010

Whereabouts of God..

Well for starters I am glad I changed the template of my blog from jet black to pristine white. Depicts peace-within my soul and around me.
Many a times, mostly in times of distress, I have found myself looking towards God for help. But then the dual personality in me tends to question- why do I believe in something that I don't see? Why do I want to trust the fact that there is a higher being controlling all of us?

And the questions move forward making me think that does God really have to be a higher being than all of us? What if He is just down here somewhere sitting right next to us? Holding our hand when we are distressed... consoling us when we are on the verge of tears..rejoicing with our soul when we rejoice! What if He were a human being too just like you and me?

God has the power to MOVE people. He has the power to INSPIRE us. He has the power to make us BELIEVE in ourselves. And more often than not I have had people do all these tasks for me; the ones that are supposed to be done by the Almighty above. A.R Rahman's music moves me, Clint Eastwood's movies inspire me, my Mom makes me believe in myself when no one else even bothers to listen. Then are these people equivalent to God?
Yes for me they are. And I say that without any doubts whatsoever. When I do a good deed, I feel like God myself. When I see someone move me in ways no one else has done, I see God in them. So then why do I have to look above at the sky to invoke the blessings of the Almighty? I am just happy seeing Gods all around me...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I am brown.. and I am proud of that.

When you work at a convenience store, you encounter people from all walks of life. And people, in need of alcohol, will do anything for free stuff. Yes they could be racists too..
So here I was doing regular work. It was just another day at work. Nothing out of the blue. And in walks this guy who buys a whole lot of beer and some cigarettes. Turns out he has 3 credit cards and there is not even a single dime on any of those cards. He insists that I keep trying to swipe the cards again, as if my swiping them again will regenerate money in his account!
Nevertheless he asks me to hold his stuff for him and he goes to the bank next door to extract money from the ATM. Comes in 5 minutes later and says if I could give the goods to him on credit.

I, of course, politely refuse saying that it is not our policy to give goods on credit. And his exact words were, " What?! Is this India or something? I have taken goods on credit from here before." And I realized all of a sudden that my blood was boiling. Ears perked up at the mention of India from his mouth. And I managed to keep my calm and asked him, "Well what does India have to do with this?" And he has the f%$@#$% guts to say that, " Well if it was India you wouldn't give out goods on credit. After all it is a matter of trust. This is America. There is no question of that sort."
And the next words out of my mouth while pointing towards the door were, " Thank you. Have a good night."
I am amazed because of 2 things:
Firstly, I managed to keep my calm even in the midst of all the blood boiling going on in my body.
And secondly, I was amazed that people in 21st century still believe in borders and racism! We talk about being a global citizen, and being technologically so advanced that there is a world without borders. How can one do that when such things still happen in this day and age!
I wish I could have just told that so-called white guy that had it been an Indian I would have trusted him/her fully and given her the goods. But just because it was a dumb American, I held back because I don't really have any trust or interest in you!
May he rest in pieces!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

A post with no name...

I have been sitting and staring at the screen for over 15 minutes now. Not knowing what to write or where to start from. The fingers twitch and yearn because nothing has been written or said for such a long period of time.
The mind wanders, as always, looking and delving into a plethora of topics that might interest me as a writer and you as a reader. But the mind ditches me. It doesn't churn up anything new. And so I start doubting myself as somebody who can write. Is my imagination so limited? Is this all that I am capable of?

But then again there emerges a hope saying, "Your mind is miraculous. It has the ability to dream and think of ideas that no one has ever thought of." And I cling onto this faith and start typing. The words flow out just like they flow out here and Voila! I have almost half of a post full of gibberish.
Sometimes just letting things be is what it is.. no observations, no opinions, no- what is good and not-so-good. Just enjoying the subtle joy of writing. That is all that this is!